Imagine a greasy, fast-food bag of the most delicious cheeseburgers. Now let's say they're sentient and have a developed language and societal construct. Now, 4 out of 5 of the Cheeseburgers are amazed to be alive and for the few minutes before they're eaten and digested they have time to admire their layers of warm crispness and gooey cheese hat. One of these Cheeseburgers is cheeseless (by choice) and laying at the bottom of the bag sulking, refusing to come out of her wax paper (yup she's a girl in this Cheeeseburger Kingdom). She's rolling her eyes because the other "idiots" don't know that this gooey delicious orange stuff isn't really cheese at all (the horror). It's that cheese food bullshit.
I'm that Cheeeseburger.
I'm that cynical Cheeseburger who has a hard time enjoying a movie once I've noticed the Aquafina poster behind Benedict Cumberbatch's grand fight scene (I LOOOOVE him as Sherlock, don't you?). I roll my eyes and turn the channel once one of these contest-type-of-reality shows starts the tear jerking background music and obviously has told everyone that they have to share a sad story this week, while sprinkled in glitter and doing the salsa, in order to stay employed. When it's done in such a manipulative way my skepticism goes up a few notches. I told you I'm a little cynical. But please understand that I'm not a robot; I cry and laugh and hope at real moments. I just side eye people that seem to be purposefully ignoring when they're being played--which brings me to my point--I am not a tortured artist.
I used to be. Oh boy, I used to be...I was a moody teenager, like half of all teenagers and I had a sucky home life that reflected in my work (which was just as sucky).
I've grown since then. Now, my art comes from a real place. If I am truly expressing sadness, forlornness, hopelessness, joy, irony in my pieces I make damn sure that I'm creating from cemented feelings--not temporary fickle ones like anger.
You know cynicism/phoniness vs. realness in art is a debate that will go on for as long as humanity does. I'm not out to change any one's viewpoint if they've closed their mind. There is no space in a filled cup after all. I want to grow and learn and be able to drink from the cups of others who have more wisdom and skill. And I will never tell you that my water is fresh when you can clearly see the murk. I want to create from my soul and share what's truly in me with the world, not what may be trending on twitter just because it's trendy. And if you catch me being cheesy, know that it's 100% pure aged artisan cheddar full of body and complex flavor...NOT that imitation crap.
